There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
