why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
