Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
