Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
