you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Terrible idea I love it
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize