oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
