We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
