Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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