I just threw up on my dentist
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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