i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
