His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
