I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I need water and some morals
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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