Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
