i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize