so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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