Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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