the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
