How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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