But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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