When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
