Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
