You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I fill condoms, not promises.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
