am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
