so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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