There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
