He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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