you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize