I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize