What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
