I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
