No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
