love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Watching her eat just hurts me
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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