Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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