In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
