you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
