I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
