Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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