I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
