I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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