Where are you?
In a non slutty way
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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