I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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