hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
