her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We're using joints as your birthday candles
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
