hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
