I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
