Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Bring me that man meat
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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