she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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