Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
