My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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