Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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