Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I want her autograph on my taint
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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