Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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