Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
