Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
