i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize