I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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