That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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