So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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