There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
