Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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