You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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