in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize