He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you had me at cake vodka
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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