New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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