i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize