I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
