:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
