OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize