lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
