My sheets look like a crime scene.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
